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hello everyone, I've been lurking here for some time, I find bits of one question answered, then I have another, so I decided I'm going to put them all here in hopes that someone will save me from doing very bad things to this Divacup, it cost too much money to toss it! 

Anyway, here goes. 
I'm 34.5 years old, 6 vaginal births, heavy HEAVY flow, clots the whole 9 yards, i have a tilted cervix and uterus. On my second and third day of my period, I am changing pads every 2-3 hours, with a tampon in. My crunchy girls finally talked me into getting a cup "You'll love the diva" "It will change your life" I've heard it all, broke down and bought one. Dry run didn't go well, I figured I need to bleed for it to work for me. I researched and researched. I can't get a good measurement on my cervix. It's all over the place, so high I can't reach it, so low it's easy to touch, sometimes I can't find it at all. I've tried measuring while on my period and it literally changes by the hour. It's so frustrating. 

I know that Diva is HUGE, I cannot slide my finger up along side it, so I can't tell if it opens, then POP it will open and sting me so bad I want to cry, I can't turn it at all. When I think I get a good placement, I can feel it sliding, it leaks constantly. Again, when I think I have it in, I'm having to empty it every hour because it begins to leak. I have it in now, and I'm cramping so bad. I can feel it, I don't know it's because I *know* it's there or what, but it's really annoying. 

So, I've checked the pretty little size charts, I've read all I can read. I can't get a good measurement, so what do I do? I've tried about 10 different folds, even some I think I made up on my own, nothing. I've tried the shower, lube, cutting the stem, flipping it inside out. I think I need a new cup, my reading about other cups makes my head spin, and my wallet hurt. Is someone out there that had these problems and changed cups and now in love?? Someone help me please, I'm just not feeling the cup love right now.

Thanks for your time ;)  
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 02:59 pm (UTC)
ahhhh, thank you mcg, that helped tons, i was beginning to think that I was the only one. Some people have one problem that I'm having and not the other, then another etc. Also, thank you for telling me what kind of cup you have, I've tried to measure and I just can't, I'm positive that my cervix has legs and just walks around. ;) Thanks again.
mcg5222mcg5222 on March 16th, 2012 03:40 pm (UTC)
Another thing i wanted to mention was that there are lots of comparison photos by melissa at Zanashop.com. They compare all the different brands with each other and were a huge help to me.
Again, good luck!
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 03:50 pm (UTC)
My issue with pictures, is I have a VERY heavy flow, I'm talking like drenching a cloth pad in 2 hours, same with sposie pads. Clots, etc. I think the Diva is just too big for me size wise, but I still need the area to fill up. Although I will keep trying to make it work. I don't want to just "deal" with these issues, it's either going to work, or it's not.
mcg5222mcg5222 on March 16th, 2012 03:55 pm (UTC)
when u say "size" do you mean length or width, or maybe both? Btw, you have the large Diva right?
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 04:04 pm (UTC)
Well since I can't get my finger even close to along side of it, I'm assuming that it's too wide, when I do get it in a good position, the stem (which I have since trimmed and turned inside out on occasion) hits my perineum, and hurts like mad. Because I'm so tilted I guess, that it pokes me every time, even with a nearly cut off stem, other times I don't feel it at all and it's way up there (hence the walking around cervix). It's mind boggling to me. Yes I have a large Diva.
mcg5222mcg5222 on March 16th, 2012 04:15 pm (UTC)
Hmmm then it might be tough to find a cup that has a smaller diameter without sacrificing capacity. I have heard of a newer cup called the naturalmamma that has great capacity and is more narrow than the other larger capacity cups. It might be worth looking into. You also have to be careful about trimming stems because cups can really travel after youve had them in for a little while. Ive made that mistake and have had a lost cup incident that was very traumatizing. I now know that i have a very high cervix. It really is a lot of patience as well as some trial and error, but Im sure you'll get the hang of it and find a good one.
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 04:25 pm (UTC)
I'm emptying this one so much, I really don't think I'll have an issue with a smaller cup (capicity) the Diva seems so, um, stiff, but because I don't have anything to compare it to, I don't really know, are they all that stiff? Yeah, I was afraid of the traveling cup, I noticed that when I flipped the cup inside out, but the stem was hitting my peri so bad, it started to swell. I can't have that happening along with everything else.
mcg5222mcg5222 on March 16th, 2012 04:53 pm (UTC)
The Si-Bell (the one i use and mentioned in my first post) is by far the softest cup. The small one is 41mm in diameter and the large is 45 or 46mm. Their total lengths are 74mm, without stems the small is 47mm and large is 52mm. Very very soft and flexible. Capacity on the small is 20ml and large is 30ml(same as your diva). The diva is actually considered one of the softer cups. Most are going to be even stiffer if not the same:(
juliiie87juliiie87 on March 16th, 2012 11:57 pm (UTC)
Not really, the diva is medium ! There are many softer cups, see this chart : http://menstrualcupinfo.wordpress.com/cup-stiffness-comparison-chart/
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on March 16th, 2012 05:43 pm (UTC)
the width mostly matters for insertion really. i'm a virgin and after getting used to a narrow cup first, i use wide cups just fine. the width also MIGHT make you feel/notice the cup. but length and shape matter more for a good fit. the diva has a large diameter but it's actually sorta narrowly shape. something like a fleurcup or XL meluna might sit more securely around your cervix i think...
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 05:52 pm (UTC)
Looking at meluna's now. thanks so much
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 06:14 pm (UTC)
I'm on the meluna german site and I can't get through to paypal. Oh well, on to the next
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on March 16th, 2012 06:38 pm (UTC)
there's an english version, click on top of the page:)
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 06:52 pm (UTC)
I got it, they sent me a paypal invoice. Thanks!
juliiie87juliiie87 on March 16th, 2012 07:55 pm (UTC)
If you go over to the "community faqs", as I'm sure you have by now, you'll come across a post by Serpent where she compares high capacity cups. From the top of my mind, I'd say you'd have good luck with a large Fleurcup, sent worldwide from their website for under $30. It's pretty soft yet I've heard it pops open pretty well for most people, it has a round bottom for comfort on low cervix days and plenty of grip rings and stem to grab onto. Stiffer options (not comfortable for everyone) are large Yuuki and large Lunette. XL Meluna comes in both stiff and soft, but it is quite a huge thing too.

Regarding popping open (there's a faq about that too) btw, there are milions of ways, with some folds such as triangle you can even do it with one finger, turning is only optionnal, tugging and poking does it for some people, etc.

What it all comes down to is, relaxation and a comfortable position. Some need to put a foot up. Whatever makes your muscles down there relax. It's usually when they are clenched that it is impossible to run your finger around the cup or even get it to pop open. Your vagina is a wonderfully stretchy place if you allow it to be. Pushing a little (as if to empty your bladder) tends to relax this area to.

For me, running the cup under cold water, folds that need to be held tightly (mainly labia, origami and even diamond), and especially lying on my bed, resting on one elbow, in a "birthing position" helped a ton. For others, sitting on the toilet is the way to go. having a finger pushing the vagina wall ou of the way also helps like somebody mentionned.

Maybe stick to pads while you're getting the hang of it, and only try again when your kids leave you a little time and privacy, and you feel mentally open to the whole thing (aroused even, why the hell not). You definitely shouldn't pressure yourself to succeed at once, some people just need more time and that's fine. Some people use several different types of protection and that's fine too.
thelittleredfoxthelittleredfox on April 22nd, 2012 06:41 pm (UTC)
I'm 32 and use a small diva which is my perfect cup. I've got a larger lunette, but that bitch hurts. I think women are different sizes down there regardless of age or if they've had kids.

As far as wondering about size and flow, well my periods are horrendously heavy. I've always had to "double up" on protection and I often still need to empty my cup every 1-2 hours on my worst days. I always use a cloth pad as back-up on the 2 heaviest days, but I find that the small Diva holds more than the large versions of most other cups because of the position of the holes. Mine will fill right to the brim without leaking.