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hello everyone, I've been lurking here for some time, I find bits of one question answered, then I have another, so I decided I'm going to put them all here in hopes that someone will save me from doing very bad things to this Divacup, it cost too much money to toss it! 

Anyway, here goes. 
I'm 34.5 years old, 6 vaginal births, heavy HEAVY flow, clots the whole 9 yards, i have a tilted cervix and uterus. On my second and third day of my period, I am changing pads every 2-3 hours, with a tampon in. My crunchy girls finally talked me into getting a cup "You'll love the diva" "It will change your life" I've heard it all, broke down and bought one. Dry run didn't go well, I figured I need to bleed for it to work for me. I researched and researched. I can't get a good measurement on my cervix. It's all over the place, so high I can't reach it, so low it's easy to touch, sometimes I can't find it at all. I've tried measuring while on my period and it literally changes by the hour. It's so frustrating. 

I know that Diva is HUGE, I cannot slide my finger up along side it, so I can't tell if it opens, then POP it will open and sting me so bad I want to cry, I can't turn it at all. When I think I get a good placement, I can feel it sliding, it leaks constantly. Again, when I think I have it in, I'm having to empty it every hour because it begins to leak. I have it in now, and I'm cramping so bad. I can feel it, I don't know it's because I *know* it's there or what, but it's really annoying. 

So, I've checked the pretty little size charts, I've read all I can read. I can't get a good measurement, so what do I do? I've tried about 10 different folds, even some I think I made up on my own, nothing. I've tried the shower, lube, cutting the stem, flipping it inside out. I think I need a new cup, my reading about other cups makes my head spin, and my wallet hurt. Is someone out there that had these problems and changed cups and now in love?? Someone help me please, I'm just not feeling the cup love right now.

Thanks for your time ;)  
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on March 16th, 2012 01:20 pm (UTC)
Simple solution:
On days that your Diva is too long for you, flip it inside out to shorten it. :o)
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 01:30 pm (UTC)
I've tried that Kuradi (I put it in the post), it doesn't help. I just noticed that I had it in and the cramps were so bad, I started shaking and sweating, I just want to cry, I had to take it out.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on March 16th, 2012 01:41 pm (UTC)
Oops! You did, didn't you? Serves me right for skimming too quickly.

Don't be in a rush to buy another cup. You're in the dreaded learning curve. Get through it with the Diva you have and then using what you like and don't like about it, decide whether or not you want another cup.

Want to try my method?
Insert your cup so the rim is just beyond your pubic bone and allow it to open fully there. Then nudge the base/stem so the opening points toward your cervix (for me that's a healthy nudge rearward) and finally, give the cup a boost as you kegel it up and into place. Despite what the instructions say, you want the rim to sit (O) around your cervix. And there's no need to spin/rotate your cup because you already know it's open. But if you want to, go on ahead...

If you have trouble getting the cup to open, re-insert it with the folded part facing the other way. Up instead of down, or left instead of right (etc.) Create an air channel on the soft back side of your vagina to help the cup fill with air as it opens. Sometimes enlarging the tiny little anti-suction holes around the rim helps too.
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 02:00 pm (UTC)
I'm pretty sure that's what I've been doing, I use punch down, with the punch down toward the floor, I insert it just beyond my PB and allow it to open then push/nudge, wiggle, shove (kidding) then kegel, I read that on here somewhere before. The problem is I can't tell if it's open, then I stand up and it POPS open and hurts me so bad, then I'm sore adding to the horrible cramps I already have. I can't feel along side of it, so see if it's opened, I *think* it's open then that pop happens and I seriously want to cry. Thanks for your help
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on March 16th, 2012 02:10 pm (UTC)
Ah-ha! You're not letting it open fully before you "shove it up there." ;o) My guess is that you're rushing insertion. Make sure it opens fully down low, THEN boost it into position.

If you insert your finger alongside the folded part, you can feel it fill with air and open. It will also "cushion the blow" of the POP. And theoretically, it will be down low enough that it doesn't graze or smack your cervix as it does so.

Hang in there, you've ALMOST got it!
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 02:19 pm (UTC)
That's possible, just this morning, my 2.5 year old yelled at me not to put that cup in my butt! Meanwhile the 11 month old is pulling the cabinet apart, I seem to rush everything! I'll try and slow down, I'm going to give it a break today, I am so sore from cramping just the thought of shoving anything up there makes me cringe! Thanks again for your help.
melissa569melissa569 on March 17th, 2012 02:16 am (UTC)
For me, my cervix is so low, if I use a cup that's too long it puts pressure against the side of my cervix, making it harder for my uterus to push everything out, and thus causing worse cramping. I basically have to use short cups... I agree that practice can often help, but if it doesn't, a shorter cup may offer more comfort.
Sarcasticia Nitpickersontisiphone on March 16th, 2012 02:22 pm (UTC)
Mod note
Hi wiccanone817! I'm really glad you're finding the community useful, but could you please remove the gendered language from your post? There's a post linked to from our community profile that explains why we ask this. Thanks!
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 02:29 pm (UTC)
Re: Mod note
yep, I think I got them all, sorry about that
Sarcasticia Nitpickersontisiphone on March 16th, 2012 02:55 pm (UTC)
Re: Mod note
Thanks so much, greatly appreciated!
mcg5222mcg5222 on March 16th, 2012 02:34 pm (UTC)
I had the same problem as you are having when i got the diva. I didnt give up (though i really wanted too) and eventually got it in for three agonizing cycles. After those cycles though, i ended up buying a different cup. I had the same issues with never getting it to pop open and then randomly having it spring open and be very painful. The shape, stiffness, and stem were just wrong for me. I would say to at least give it two or three cycles worth of trying before exploring other options, but i do know how frustrating and painful it can be. I went through three different cups before finding the perfect one for me, so it can be a real pain. But in the end im really happy with my cup journey. (PS my perfect cup is the small Si-Bell. They do have a large size for those who have given birth or have a heavy flow. Just letting you know)
Hope this helps and good luck!

Edited at 2012-03-16 02:37 pm (UTC)
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 02:59 pm (UTC)
ahhhh, thank you mcg, that helped tons, i was beginning to think that I was the only one. Some people have one problem that I'm having and not the other, then another etc. Also, thank you for telling me what kind of cup you have, I've tried to measure and I just can't, I'm positive that my cervix has legs and just walks around. ;) Thanks again.
mcg5222mcg5222 on March 16th, 2012 03:40 pm (UTC)
Another thing i wanted to mention was that there are lots of comparison photos by melissa at Zanashop.com. They compare all the different brands with each other and were a huge help to me.
Again, good luck!
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 03:50 pm (UTC)
My issue with pictures, is I have a VERY heavy flow, I'm talking like drenching a cloth pad in 2 hours, same with sposie pads. Clots, etc. I think the Diva is just too big for me size wise, but I still need the area to fill up. Although I will keep trying to make it work. I don't want to just "deal" with these issues, it's either going to work, or it's not.
mcg5222mcg5222 on March 16th, 2012 03:55 pm (UTC)
when u say "size" do you mean length or width, or maybe both? Btw, you have the large Diva right?
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 04:04 pm (UTC)
Well since I can't get my finger even close to along side of it, I'm assuming that it's too wide, when I do get it in a good position, the stem (which I have since trimmed and turned inside out on occasion) hits my perineum, and hurts like mad. Because I'm so tilted I guess, that it pokes me every time, even with a nearly cut off stem, other times I don't feel it at all and it's way up there (hence the walking around cervix). It's mind boggling to me. Yes I have a large Diva.
mcg5222mcg5222 on March 16th, 2012 04:15 pm (UTC)
Hmmm then it might be tough to find a cup that has a smaller diameter without sacrificing capacity. I have heard of a newer cup called the naturalmamma that has great capacity and is more narrow than the other larger capacity cups. It might be worth looking into. You also have to be careful about trimming stems because cups can really travel after youve had them in for a little while. Ive made that mistake and have had a lost cup incident that was very traumatizing. I now know that i have a very high cervix. It really is a lot of patience as well as some trial and error, but Im sure you'll get the hang of it and find a good one.
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 04:25 pm (UTC)
I'm emptying this one so much, I really don't think I'll have an issue with a smaller cup (capicity) the Diva seems so, um, stiff, but because I don't have anything to compare it to, I don't really know, are they all that stiff? Yeah, I was afraid of the traveling cup, I noticed that when I flipped the cup inside out, but the stem was hitting my peri so bad, it started to swell. I can't have that happening along with everything else.
mcg5222mcg5222 on March 16th, 2012 04:53 pm (UTC)
The Si-Bell (the one i use and mentioned in my first post) is by far the softest cup. The small one is 41mm in diameter and the large is 45 or 46mm. Their total lengths are 74mm, without stems the small is 47mm and large is 52mm. Very very soft and flexible. Capacity on the small is 20ml and large is 30ml(same as your diva). The diva is actually considered one of the softer cups. Most are going to be even stiffer if not the same:(
juliiie87juliiie87 on March 16th, 2012 11:57 pm (UTC)
Not really, the diva is medium ! There are many softer cups, see this chart : http://menstrualcupinfo.wordpress.com/cup-stiffness-comparison-chart/
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on March 16th, 2012 05:43 pm (UTC)
the width mostly matters for insertion really. i'm a virgin and after getting used to a narrow cup first, i use wide cups just fine. the width also MIGHT make you feel/notice the cup. but length and shape matter more for a good fit. the diva has a large diameter but it's actually sorta narrowly shape. something like a fleurcup or XL meluna might sit more securely around your cervix i think...
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 05:52 pm (UTC)
Looking at meluna's now. thanks so much
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 06:14 pm (UTC)
I'm on the meluna german site and I can't get through to paypal. Oh well, on to the next
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on March 16th, 2012 06:38 pm (UTC)
there's an english version, click on top of the page:)
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 06:52 pm (UTC)
I got it, they sent me a paypal invoice. Thanks!
juliiie87juliiie87 on March 16th, 2012 07:55 pm (UTC)
If you go over to the "community faqs", as I'm sure you have by now, you'll come across a post by Serpent where she compares high capacity cups. From the top of my mind, I'd say you'd have good luck with a large Fleurcup, sent worldwide from their website for under $30. It's pretty soft yet I've heard it pops open pretty well for most people, it has a round bottom for comfort on low cervix days and plenty of grip rings and stem to grab onto. Stiffer options (not comfortable for everyone) are large Yuuki and large Lunette. XL Meluna comes in both stiff and soft, but it is quite a huge thing too.

Regarding popping open (there's a faq about that too) btw, there are milions of ways, with some folds such as triangle you can even do it with one finger, turning is only optionnal, tugging and poking does it for some people, etc.

What it all comes down to is, relaxation and a comfortable position. Some need to put a foot up. Whatever makes your muscles down there relax. It's usually when they are clenched that it is impossible to run your finger around the cup or even get it to pop open. Your vagina is a wonderfully stretchy place if you allow it to be. Pushing a little (as if to empty your bladder) tends to relax this area to.

For me, running the cup under cold water, folds that need to be held tightly (mainly labia, origami and even diamond), and especially lying on my bed, resting on one elbow, in a "birthing position" helped a ton. For others, sitting on the toilet is the way to go. having a finger pushing the vagina wall ou of the way also helps like somebody mentionned.

Maybe stick to pads while you're getting the hang of it, and only try again when your kids leave you a little time and privacy, and you feel mentally open to the whole thing (aroused even, why the hell not). You definitely shouldn't pressure yourself to succeed at once, some people just need more time and that's fine. Some people use several different types of protection and that's fine too.
thelittleredfoxthelittleredfox on April 22nd, 2012 06:41 pm (UTC)
I'm 32 and use a small diva which is my perfect cup. I've got a larger lunette, but that bitch hurts. I think women are different sizes down there regardless of age or if they've had kids.

As far as wondering about size and flow, well my periods are horrendously heavy. I've always had to "double up" on protection and I often still need to empty my cup every 1-2 hours on my worst days. I always use a cloth pad as back-up on the 2 heaviest days, but I find that the small Diva holds more than the large versions of most other cups because of the position of the holes. Mine will fill right to the brim without leaking.
misheymomisheymo on March 16th, 2012 03:20 pm (UTC)
i gave the diva cup a good 3 years before i ultimately switched to the lunette. the stem and softness of the cup have made it so much easier for me. i found it at a green fair so i got to feel it before i bought it.
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 03:48 pm (UTC)
WOW, that's some kind of determination. I don't think I could last that long with this. My friends that are divacup users love them, but some of them, like you switched over to the lunette and love that one as well. Thanks misheymo
tearsandhoneytearsandhoney on March 16th, 2012 05:19 pm (UTC)
I think your problem was that you just jumped on the cup your friends liked. Everyone has a different body. I think maybe the large fluercup would be good for you.
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 05:32 pm (UTC)
probably. I thought I done my research finding that it was so popular.
tearsandhoneytearsandhoney on March 17th, 2012 12:53 am (UTC)
Well popular is not always best but I understand. A lot of people in the MC community have made bad buying decisions don't feel so alone. :) Maybe you should try to rush less with the Diva and try enlaring the suction holes. Diva's tiny, tiny suction holes.
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on March 16th, 2012 05:08 pm (UTC)
wow 6 kids?

see this post about popping open: http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/2618390.html#cutid1

i think an XL meluna soft could be a good second try. because melunas are cheaper than others and they also send free samples if you order from the official site, so you'll get a shorter cup for when your cervix is lower.

another one to try could be a large fleurcup (there's a large+small offer too), it's the shortest high capacity cup. it's also softer than the diva. here's a stiffness chart: http://menstrualcupinfo.wordpress.com/cup-stiffness-comparison-chart/
wiccanone817 on March 16th, 2012 05:35 pm (UTC)
Thanks Serpent, yes I've had 6 children vaginally. One passed at birth.

Thank you for the info on the other cups. And the popping cups. I've heard good things bout Fleur and meluna. I've read all the charts, I think my head hurts from all the info I've been reading, This is worse than researching for a car, computer or buying a house! Because I can't get a good measurement, I have no idea what will work for me and what won't.
Serpent: neutralserpent_849 on March 16th, 2012 06:47 pm (UTC)
you can't get a measurement but you've used one cup already, that also helps. btw you can sell it at mc_sales.
for tilted cervix, medium length might work better, even if (when?) your cervix is quite high. medium length is 50-53 mm.
Summers0mmer on March 16th, 2012 11:58 pm (UTC)
If your flow is too too much, a Mirena IUD might be an option. It's often prescribed to decrease heavy flow. Just fyi. Good luck with the new cup!
hairballsplathairballsplat on March 17th, 2012 01:16 am (UTC)
after reading everything here, i was going to recommend a lg Fleur (love mine for HEAVY days and it's squishier than my lg Diva) but if the lg Diva is sometimes too long for you that might not work. (i've removed stems from all my cups.) i think my lg LadyCup is squishier than my lg Diva, but the capacity is definitely not the same as the lg Diva or lg Fleur. don't know if any of that helps, but thought i'd throw it out there.
Moemm03m on March 17th, 2012 07:18 pm (UTC)
Well, the large Fleurcup is a lot shorter than the large Diva. I could never wear a Diva, my cervix is too low... but the Fleurcup fits me just fine.