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22 October 2011 @ 01:40 am
I'm very new to using anything other than tampons and pads. I bought my first box of instead softcups today. I currently have spotting to a light flow. I wanted to use the softcups because I have had a lot of spotting in the past couple months, due to PCOS. This trial DID NOT go as planned and I am now tramatised!

I tried to insert it on the toilet and couldn't reach my vagina. So I tried squatting but couldn't balance. So I went and laid in bed and tried. I could reach better but still took several tried. Finally it seemed to just SUCK UP in and I thought it had went into place since I couldn't feel it. I did feel a little sore from the multiple tries.

So I went to work. Four hours later I went to urinate and had leaked. So I figured it would be best to remove and try again at home. I could NOT reach it on the toilet. I had no choice but to lay on the floor against the bath tub. I tried and tried but could barely touch the ring. I could tell it had not opened but I could not get in far enough. If only my fingers were an inch longer. I tried bearing down and several positions. I could only reach it in the one position, and couldn't get it out. I finally got a spoon and used the handle to get over the rim and pulled it right out.

You could tell it had been bent in half the whole time. I'm scared to try again. I really wanted to be able to have intercourse while bleeding. My bf is major blood phobic and I have been spotting/light flow constant for 4 months now. My Dr won't give me hormone for another two months to stop it. I really think I am too obese to use cups and that is very depressing. I used to use nuvaring and new how to check my cervix for fertility. But that was 8 yrs ago and 70 lbs smaller. Now I'm 390 lbs and miserable! I'm 27 and have never had kids. :'( I use tampons without problems, except I soak through a ultra tampon and pad in 30 mins to an hr on really bad cycles, and within 2-3 hrs on regular cycles.
Moemm03m on October 22nd, 2011 09:39 am (UTC)
I don't have anything useful to tell you, except that reusable cups may be a better fit for you because they are easier to reach. But I mainly want to tell you that I'm really sorry you had such a bad experience.
nickelshoenickelshoe on October 22nd, 2011 09:53 am (UTC)
That sounds frustrating to say the least. It sounds like you didn't get the Instead far enough in. The part closest to the entrance needs to sit behind the pubic bone. But since you had trouble reaching it, that may not be helpful advice. I'm not sure reusable cups would be better. If you want to keep trying with the Insteads, I think you might still get it.

I'm not impressed that your doctor wants you to bleed for 6 months before pursuing treatment.
Serpentserpent_849 on October 22nd, 2011 12:34 pm (UTC)
or maybe it went folded past the OP's cervix. since she used to use a nuvaring and monitor her cervix position, it at least used to be reachable, and it doesn't appear that any factors that can change that apply here.
nickelshoenickelshoe on October 22nd, 2011 02:35 pm (UTC)
I thought perhaps it was unreachable because her arms weren't long enough, rather than her fingers. Insteads are so big, I can't imagine getting them that far in. However, you may be right, and I may need to work on my imagination a bit.
Fae the Tayviolet_dragon on October 22nd, 2011 10:22 am (UTC)
Oh hon, I'm sorry you had an awful experience :( First off though, there is NO such thing as too obese to use a reusable cup. Your insides pretty much stay the same no matter what. Secondly, many women find that they have a really difficult time with the softcups even if they have no issues with a silicone reusable cup. Reusable cups have stems and are way easier to reach. I've had sex while using a small ladycup and it went well!

Also, find a new doctor that won't let you bleed constantly for 6 months! What's that about?
summersun_02 on October 22nd, 2011 10:59 am (UTC)
I honestly think he is tryin to punish me, because I won't let him do a hysterectomy. Last December I was bleeding so heavy I had to go to the ER. The ER doctor took one look down there and refused to do any exam or do anything except run blood tests. I wasn't anemic so they called my obgyn. He wouldn't give me progesterone to stop it, like my old Dr that had just retired used to. He said he wouldn't do anything for at least a week, wanted to see if it would slow/stop on its own. I missed a week of work but it did eventually slow. I begged for a dnc but he refused. His answer to everything was " let's do a hysterectomy". I said NO! I was 26 with no husband or children.

Then I had my last normal period in February. In march I fractured 2 vertebrae in my lumber spine. During tests in April I had two urine prego tests and a blood test, all negative. In July I started spotting. It stops every couple of days then returns and occasionally it gets to a light flow. Went in two weeks ago. Not anemic so he won't give me progesterone until its been 6 months or more. His suggestion, you guessed it HYSTERECTOMY!

I don't think he knows anything about Poly cystic ovarian syndrome, so just keeps with the same solution. It's a small town and he is the only OB GYN. It's almost impossible to get in to see him. Next one is an hr away.

Anyways it just dawned on me. Maybe my back is why I cannot reach quite far enough to insert/remove. Maybe I'm to stiff from the fractured vertebrae and slipped disk. I know my hips are now hurting and tryin to hive out on me. That's one of my symptoms of spinal cord damage from the accident.

I don't know. I am just so frustrated. I thought the soft cups would a quick fix so that I could have intercourse and pad free days. Constantly wearing pads or pantyliners is chaffing me and all my sheets and underwear are stained from having to go without pads when I'm chaffed.
Serpentserpent_849 on October 22nd, 2011 12:27 pm (UTC)
idk if this can fix it but you can get hormonal birth control pills without a prescription.
i second looking for a better doctor... mine kept me on hormones when i was just 18-20, the new one said it didn't seem bad enough for that:S

i really recommend trying out a reusable cup! and you may want to get cloth pads too... i so wish i had had some when i was having two periods a month for some time:S
juliiie87juliiie87 on October 22nd, 2011 01:58 pm (UTC)
All of this. Get another doctor, possibly a woman, or just any GP should be able to prescribe hormonal contraception pills that will probably limit your bleeding. Every body is different, but in your case it is definitely worth a try.

About the chaffing : if you have a little money, I strongly suggest you start looking into cloth pads ! It's a little extra work cleaning, but no chaffing ! and a great absorbency nonetheless. Domino pads is located in the US and has great reviews, even from heavy bleeders, but there are other brands of course.

Finally, if you used to monitor your cervix, you should already know a lot about how far deep it sits on your period, that should help you pick the right menstrual cup for you, using this page : http://sizecharts.livejournal.com/

Don't be afraid about the larger sizes, even thoug you haven't had children, the extra-capacity should make it worth it. But any cup would allow you more time in between emptying than any tampons or pads.

It's a shame your boyfriend is so squeamish, did you try to explain your condition ? I'm just so lucky mine doesn't care.
k_kommando_ on October 22nd, 2011 04:13 pm (UTC)
i second the cloth pads! i'm really s-l-o-w-l-y building up my stash because i don't have tons of money to put out all at once, but they seem to be worth it. domino pads are pricy, but the first time i put one on i literally thought "oh! it's like a hug for my vulva!" so soft! you might want to check out the cloth pads community on lj, there's lots of info there. but only if you want to of course :)
Serpentserpent_849 on October 22nd, 2011 04:49 pm (UTC)
and http://clothpads.org/ , it explains the various styles. OP, no matter how much you love the design/pattern, don't order several similar ones before you've tried them! try out several styles, one or two of each.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on October 22nd, 2011 12:44 pm (UTC)
Time for a NEW obgyn. It's worth the trip out of town.
nickelshoenickelshoe on October 22nd, 2011 02:38 pm (UTC)
I agree. I don't know if there are any additional reasons the OP is sticking with this doctor, but it seems like a waste of time and money if they won't prescribe cheap hormone pills and keep advocating expensive surgery.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on October 22nd, 2011 03:06 pm (UTC)
I understand why he won't prescribe hormonal pills but a hysterectomy should be the LAST RESORT, not the first thing to recommend.
Melon the Sleepermelonaise on October 22nd, 2011 02:32 pm (UTC)
Yeah, your back may be a problem. I was going to suggest a way to get a little more reach but it may not work for you. I twist at the waist a little, like I'm looking over my shoulder left shoulder (if the cup is in my right hand) and then bend forward. This way my right shoulder is closer to my pelvis than my left, giving me a little extra reach.
juliiie87juliiie87 on October 22nd, 2011 02:52 pm (UTC)
I've had the most success inserting a reusable cup lying on my back, knees spread, lifting up my butt a little bit. Dunno if this helps.
summersun_02 on October 22nd, 2011 01:34 pm (UTC)
Can't take hormonal birth control. I have hard to control high blood pressure, and my mom had a stroke caused by bc when she was 24. That's why they took me off nuvaring at age 20.

Payday I'm going to order a reuseable cup since they don't go as far in and have a stem. Also gonna go see my general doctor. Maybe she will do something. But she might kill me cause I've only been taking 1 of 3 bloodpressure meds due to low funds. Opps :)
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on October 22nd, 2011 02:05 pm (UTC)
Despite what the instructions say, a cup will ride however high or low it darn well pleases. The illustrations in the directions for EVERY cup shows that it sits at the entrance of your vagina and that there is a cup-length or more between the rim and your cervix. In reality, a cup more or less fills your vagina, sits (O) around your cervix and is held in place by the vaginal walls and pelvic floor muscles.

Do a little self-exploration to figure out how long or short your vagina is and then use the guidelines and size charts at http://sizecharts.livejournal.com/ to figure out which cup will fit and suit you best.
juliiie87juliiie87 on October 22nd, 2011 02:13 pm (UTC)
Most people have their cup sitting (o) just around their cervix though, but if you pick that's long enough to fit your body, it shouldn't be a problem. The stem is just here to get the first hold and guide you to the cup. Squatting and bearing down usually helps bring it closer to reach.
juliiie87juliiie87 on October 22nd, 2011 02:15 pm (UTC)
Sorry kuradi8 was faster. ;)
nickelshoenickelshoe on October 22nd, 2011 04:57 pm (UTC)
Even though your blood pressure might make combined oral contraceptives a bad idea, something progestin only might help. Maybe a round of Provera? Tranexamic acid could also help. I'm pretty sure neither is terribly expensive. I'm not a doctor, so I could be way off base. But since your doctor isn't being helpful, you might want to go armed with questions about specific treatments so you don't have to listen to the hysterectomy suggestion again. (And if you don't want a hysterectomy, you might tell the doctor to stop mentioning it. If they mention after that, get up and walk out, because they're clearly not interested in listening to you.)
.: heart beattingdodecahedron on October 23rd, 2011 04:34 am (UTC)
This is a completely unrelated note but I just wanted to make sure that by 1 of 3 BP meds you're talking about taking one of them consistently and not switching around. Especially when it comes to BP being inconsistant with a medication regimen (which causes swinging highs and lows), or taking less than your prescribed amount (often people take half their dosage to make pills last longer, but they only have a desired reaction when taken in the proper dose), can often be worse than not taking any medication at al l. If funds are an issue this is something you should talk to your GP about to hopefully come up with a solution that fits within your means. Are you eligible for medical or medicare? They can often cover most of the cost of medication and can be supplemental to health insurance if you have it in covering copays. Also, if you're not already, regular exercise is a free way to help your blood pressure. Find a way you love to move and make time for yourself to do it. Me, I love to dance, swimming, play 4 square, and I'm stuck walking this dog who came into my life 7 years ago.

I'm sure a lot of this is stuff you've heard before. Just my public health nurse advocacy kicking in. I want to make sure all people have access to living the healthiest life possible with the resources available.
justice_02justice_02 on October 22nd, 2011 02:32 pm (UTC)
Here is a link to a video that shows you how to use Instead cups. It is pretty normal for blood to leak out when you use the bathroom since the pelvic muscles are relaxing. As long as it is not happening at other times, unless the Instead is full. I have also heard of women washing and reusing these instead of throwing them away after each use for that day at least. You can also use a diaphraghm for holding the blood during intercourse. A doctor would have to fit you for one though. Good luck to you.

Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on October 22nd, 2011 03:15 pm (UTC)
I use Insteads occasionally and think they're "OK" but prefer my cups. For me, they're less leaky and less messy. I found Insteads to be better for light days than heavy. Of course, we're all different.

It sounds like you were inserting it "up" like a tampon. Aim it down and back (excuse me) toward your asshole instead. Then hook the front on/above your pubic bone. It should slide in and out kinda like a drawer.

As others have mentioned, Insteads can be reusable -- as many times as you trust them. I find it easiest to alternate two. Remove one, insert the other and wash the first for re-use next time.
Heather ReedHeather Reed on October 23rd, 2011 12:18 am (UTC)
I hear you
I am a large woman too (5'10" and over 300) and I tried Insteads first also. With back issues and tilted/tipped uterus and cervix I could not use the Insteads but I knew I have issues there because of a Gynecologist trying to fit me with a diaphragm. I bought a DivaCup and LOVE IT!! It fits so much different then the Insteads, you may like it a whole lot better.
Also, Insteads will send you your money back if you send them your receipt and the unused cups.
summersun_02 on October 23rd, 2011 05:26 am (UTC)
Thanks for the advice. I am going to order a diva cup and cloth pads as soon as I can afford. Also pretty sure I will try the soft cups again, on my next days off, while at home and not work.

Yes I am takin one pill regularly. I'm taking 60 mg of lisinopril. I have not been taking my amplomine or torsemide. The torsemide makes me cramp really bad and then I bleed more. She knows I dropped back to half a pill but doesn't know I stopped it. When I dropped to half was when she added the amplopine.
Kai: 2Cupskuradi8 on October 23rd, 2011 01:39 pm (UTC)
I said it before, let me repeat it again. FIT is important when it comes to cups. You keep mentioning a Diva cup. Are you using it as a generic term, like people use "Kleenex" instead of "tissue?" Because it's the first/only cup you know the name of? Or have you determined that's the brand that will fit you best?

The Diva happens to be the longest of all the cups and doesn't fit everyone. Just because the Diva fits others does not mean it will fit you. Analogy: Even though Size-7 shoes are the most popular size, my Size-8 feet are never going to fit into them. Ya know what I mean??? ;o)

Use the guidelines at the size charts http://sizecharts.livejournal.com/ to figure out which brand will fit and suit YOU best.
summersun_02 on October 23rd, 2011 01:58 pm (UTC)
The diva cup is what I'm thinking would work best. I can't reach my cervix, and when I used to be able to it was far in during my period. So I figure I have a longish vagina and since I can't reach that good ( only can reach like 1 inch inside) I think the longer cup would be easier to reach for removal.

I really like the lunettes because I want colored but just not sure they would be the best fit. Also like the fleur cups. I'm hoping if the diva cup doesn't work out I can sell it, and buy or trade for a Lunette or Fleur cup.

I am still reading and won't order for two weeks, so still have time to decide/change my mind. Lol
summersun_02 on October 23rd, 2011 02:39 pm (UTC)
Well I tried the soft cups again and couldn't even get it in :( I am so frustrated. I want this to work so bad. I did everything and couldn't get it in. I tried relaxing my jaw, made sure I wasn't tensing my vagina, even masterbated to relax things. It wouldnt go in! I can't seem to keep it pinched long enough to insert. When I go to insert it pops open with only a 1/4 inserted. The one time I did get it farther it popped open with only half in and wouldn't go any farther. My belly is just to big and keeps my arm from reaching far enough. I know my arms haven't shrunk in 7 yrs time so has to be my weight gain/bigger belly.

I am out of lube and dropped from a light flow to occasional spotting, so guess I will get some more lube and try again when I'm bleeding a bit more. It's p**sed me off enough that I'm determined to get it and will keep trying until I succeed or hurt myself tryin. :(
juliiie87juliiie87 on October 23rd, 2011 07:30 pm (UTC)
Maybe look for a position where your belly doesn't get so much in the way ? Dunno what to suggest, other than twisting your upper body like melonaise suggested..? Maybe lying down or sitting up on the bed in a "giving birth" position..?

If you're pretty sure your cervix sits a couple inches away from the entrance or more, the diva should be ok. Consider the larger one for a heavy flow.
summersun_02 on October 30th, 2011 10:37 am (UTC)
Well wish me luck again ladies. I am full blown bleeding, not just spotting. Soaking a super plus tampon and pad in an hr, so going to try the soft cups again when I get home. I'm having full period symptoms (headache, cramps, backache, heavy bleeding) so hopefully even if I can't use the soft cups, this should reset my cycle and stop the constant spotting I have been having.

Will let yall know how the soft cup 3rd try goes later.